I can breathe again

NO CANCER. No sign of pre-cancerous cells. YAHOO!!!! I thank God for this news.

I was freaking out just a bit. Mostly internally. I didn't want to scare the kids. I kept thinking that my baby boy would be an orphan again. That he wouldn't understand and maybe even wouldn't remember me. I thought maybe I could do those videos for them to play at big moments of their lives after I died so they would know how much I love them. But on the other hand, maybe when people die, they should just go away and not send reminders of what was lost. Ya, I thought about all of this. Every time I would hear Live Like You Were Dying I would get lost in thought and feel choked up. It really served as a wake up call. Maybe that was God's intention.



It scared the hell out of me. I looked up the symptoms and the things that multiply your risk of uterine cancer. Being more than 50 pounds overweight multiplies your risk of uterine cancer by 10. Hello, diet.

I also tried a new church this past Sunday. Not that I thought that would have saved me, but I have drifted away from my church over the past couple of years. They are very traditional. The church is full of traditional people. Mostly over the age of 60. Maybe over 70. I don't connect with anyone there. The one family that I did connect with left the church after the church became more open to homosexuals. I didn't understand that since the person I'm referring to has a relative that is gay. When we go to events there the old people stare at my family. I suppose a single mom with three kids that don't match isn't their idea of traditional. The new church however, ROCKS.

It is still a Lutheran church that I go to, but this new one offers a contemporary service that I totally connected with. The music is awesome - live Christian rock and loud enough that I can't hear my crappy voice when I sing - that's a plus. The pastor mixed in a bit of humor with his sermon - and it was directly related to family life today. I just felt renewed when I left there. Re-focused. It is just what I wanted and needed. The girls liked it a lot too. Lil Bro - he played with his toys and talked softly the ENTIRE time. LOL. Hopefully the girls will make some connections there as well.

I feel like I can breathe again. Time to take a good look at what's really important and refocus my life accordingly. Who doesn't need that?